


Softly, My Heart

by realityisoverrated



Series: Infinite Love [122]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bullying, F/M, Learning Disabilities, M/M, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Smoaking billionaires, Temper Tantrums, Toliver, child self-harm, flommy, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 01:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11476218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityisoverrated/pseuds/realityisoverrated
Summary: Nate is struggling at school, and breaking his parents' hearts.





	Softly, My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This story depicts a polyamorous relationship between one woman and two men. If this is not something you are interested in, please stop and go no further. 
> 
> I feel like this fic needs to come with a disclosure. This installment is about Nate's learning disability and his struggle with fitting in at school and at home. Nate has a tantrum borne out of frustration over his homework and he strikes himself.
> 
> New title art is debuting today. Thank you, ligiapimenta. Your presents are loved. 
> 
> This installment is 117/122. The installment list has grown too long for the notes section. You can now find the chronological list for the series, with hyperlinks, at http://archiveofourown.org/works/11051019
> 
> If you are new to the series, welcome.
> 
> Arrow and its characters do not belong to me.

Artwork by ligiapimenta

 

The sound of screaming and shattering glass greeted Felicity as she walked through the front door. She kicked off her heels and ran through the downstairs into the kitchen. Bobby, Becca and Prue all stood in the center of the kitchen staring at Tommy who was sitting on the floor wrapped around a struggling Nate. Two broken tablets lay in pieces on the floor, along with the remnants of several drinking glasses.

Tommy didn’t acknowledge the arrival of his wife, his focus was entirely on their son. He spoke soothingly to Nate as he thrashed and screamed through a tantrum.

“Bobby,” Felicity said softly.

He tore his gaze away from his dad and brother, “Yeah, mom.”

“Take the girls upstairs and throw down my slippers, please,” she requested.

Felicity ushered the girls out of the kitchen. She hugged a weeping Prue, “Nate’s going to be fine.”

“His homework is too hard,” Prue said through her tears. “I was only trying to help.”

“I know, baby. Your dads and I will help him with his homework,” Felicity said as she rubbed Prue’s back.

“My tablet is broken,” she hiccupped.

Felicity looked up at her eldest, “Bobby.”

“Yeah, I’ll set up a new one for her,” he said.

“I should have a new one in my office, go ahead and get it,” Felicity said.

When Bobby moved towards her office on the first floor she called out, “My other office.”

Bobby switched directions and headed to the basement.

“Come upstairs with me,” Felicity held her hand out to both daughters and she led them to their rooms.

“I’ll get Prue into her pajamas,” Becca said.

Prue continued to hiccup, “Da needs to rub the cream on my tummy.”

“I can do that,” Becca smiled. “I’ll even braid your hair.”

“Thank you,” Felicity kissed the top of Becca’s head.

She quickly went to her room and changed out of her work clothes into her pajamas and slippers. When she stepped out of her closet, Bobby was sitting on the edge of her bed removing a new tablet from its packaging. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bobby responded without looking up. “Daddy was on the comms when I was downstairs. I told him you’d be late. He asked, why.” He looked up apologetically, “I told him. He said he’s on his way.”

Felicity sighed, “Okay.” She kissed the top of his head, “I think it might be takeout tonight. Figure something out with the girls and order it, okay.”

“Yep,” he said.

Felicity returned to the kitchen to find Tommy and Nate where she’d left them. Nate had gone limp in Tommy’s arms. Her husband was rocking their son and singing softly to him. He turned his head to look at his wife. His eyes were red and full of anguish for their son. She removed the dustpan and broom from the pantry and set about cleaning up the mess surrounding Tommy and Nate. She’d need to vacuum up the smaller pieces of glass, but that would wait until Tommy and Nate moved. She found Nate’s glasses, the frame was twisted and a lens was cracked. They’d need to take him to the ophthalmologist in the morning to obtain a new pair. The prescription on his spare pair was okay for moving around the house, but he wouldn’t be able to function at school with them. She stuck the glasses in the pocket of her robe and returned to cleaning up the glass. As she cleaned up the area next to Tommy she noticed the splatters of blood.

“It’s not his,” Tommy said quietly as he revealed his hand wrapped in a blood soaked dishtowel.

Felicity dropped her dustpan to carefully unwrap his hand. She hissed when she saw the deep gash crossing his palm, “You’re going to need stitches.”

When she looked up, Nate’s eyes were open and staring at Tommy’s bloody hand. His tiny chest was heaving as he fought to catch his breath. His blue eyes were glassy from the tears that pooled on the edge of his lids. He wouldn’t be able to make out more than a blob of red, but it would be enough for him to know that his dad was injured. Nate reached out a tentative hand towards Tommy’s wounded one. He hesitated and then brought it back to his chest. “I’m sorry, da.”

“It’s okay, little man,” Tommy kissed the top of Nate’s head, “it wasn’t your fault.”

Nate slammed both fists against his forehead, “I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Hey,” Tommy struggled to grab Nate’s hands with his one good hand, “stop it.”

Felicity lunged for Nate’s hands and took hold of his wrists, “Baby, stop hurting yourself.”

“Why am I so stupid?” he asked with pain his eyes. He pulled against Felicity, trying to bring his head into contact with his clenched fists.

“You are not stupid,” Felicity said rising to her feet as she pulled Nate into her arms.

Nate wrapped his legs around her waist and clung to his mom as he began to cry. “Why can’t I be smart like Bobby, Becca and Prue?”

Felicity’s heart broke for her son. Nate wasn’t stupid, he was far from it. He had Oliver’s ear for languages and once he heard something, he never forgot it. Reading and writing were Nate’s downfall. He was dyslexic and often experienced frustration when he did his homework. Sometimes, his frustration would become so great, he’d experience a violent outburst.

In the beginning, it was hard for Felicity to understand Nate’s difficulty. Schoolwork was something that had always come easily to her. She never struggled to learn a new concept or absorb new information. On those rare occasions when she didn’t understand something, she never doubted that with time and dedication, she would be able to solve the problem. Her son being unable to write the alphabet or one through ten by the time he was three had confounded her. None of her other children had struggled with reading or writing, to the contrary, they all had read earlier than their peers. When he was still unable to read or write his own name by the time he started kindergarten, they’d consulted a specialist who’d diagnosed him with dyslexia. Felicity had been devastated by the diagnosis. Nate and his brain were a mystery she couldn’t solve and a problem she couldn’t fix. It was outside of her abilities to help someone who didn’t understand. It always had been. She’d been a terrible tutor in high school because she didn’t know how to make things simple for other people. She’d gotten better at it as she got older, but she still didn’t suffer fools or show much patience for those who couldn’t keep up with her. It was a personal failing. She’d thought that motherhood had taught her patience, but not until Nate started school did she realize how far she still had to go.

Oliver entered the kitchen and quickly assessed the situation. His face softened to see their son visibly upset. “Everyone okay?” he asked as his eyes landed on Tommy holding a bloody towel.

“He needs stitches,” Felicity informed Oliver before her other husband denied he was injured.

“It can wait,” Tommy told them as he set about straightening the table and chairs.

“Let’s go wash your face and put your pajamas on,” Felicity said to her son. “You’ll feel better.”

His only response was a nod of his head against her shoulder.

“Come on, buddy,” Oliver took Nate from Felicity’s arms. “We’ll do it together.”

“Tommy, what are you doing?” Felicity asked her husband as soon Oliver and Nate left the room.

“I need to get dinner started,” he said quietly.

“Bobby ordered takeout. The kids can eat in the living room until I get a chance to vacuum,” she said as she gently pulled him to the sink by the sleeve of his shirt.

Felicity turned the taps on. Once she tested the temperature of the water, she placed his still bleeding hand under the faucet. “Does it feel like there’s still glass inside?”

“I think it was just one piece. I pulled it out. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything else in there,” he answered.

“This isn’t a cut, it’s a puncture. I think we should take you to the hospital,” Felicity informed him as she cleaned his wound.

Tommy winced as Felicity examined the wound, “I don’t need to go to the hospital. You stitch, Ollie, Roy and Dig up all the time.”

“It’s your hand,” she said with concern. “What if there is nerve or tendon damage?”

Tommy wiggled his fingers, “Everything feels fine - other than the hole.”

“If Oliver says you don’t have to go to the hospital, fine,” she turned off the water and wrapped his hand in a clean towel. “I don’t have any surgical glue here. I’ll have to use real sutures.”

“Mom,” Bobby said quietly from the doorway, “I ordered Chinese. It should be here in a few minutes.”

Becca and Prue were in their pajamas behind him. Their faces were drawn and they looked nearly as upset as Nate had been. “I think we’ll eat in the living room tonight. Pick out a movie and we can watch while we have dinner together.”

“My homework’s not done,” Prue said shyly.

“Neither is mine,” Becca admitted.

“That’s okay,” Tommy gave them a brief smile, “I’ll write a note to your teachers and tell them that you’ll make it up.”

The doorbell rang. “My purse is in the hall,” Felicity told Bobby. “I’ll get the plates and chopsticks.”

The girls followed Bobby down the hall. Felicity moved to the cabinet to get the dishes. Tommy was staring at the bloody towel. “Babe?” she placed her hand on his stomach.

“He was hurting himself,” Tommy said with dismay.

Felicity slid her hand up his chest to rest over his heart. There was a part of her that never wanted to hear what happened before she’d arrived.  They stood together in silence until the doorbell rang a second time. The sound set them both into motion.

 

“Mommy,” Nate’s small voice came through their bedroom door.

“Come in,” Felicity told her son.

Nate opened the door and stuck his head inside. He looked around and saw that Felicity was alone. “Where are my dads?” he asked as he stepped further into the room.

“They’re in the bathroom brushing their teeth,” she told him. Oliver was also stitching up Tommy’s hand, but Nate didn’t need to know that. “Can’t sleep?”

He shook his head.

She turned back the covers on Oliver’s side of the bed, “Do you want to sleep with us tonight?”

He smiled and ran to get under the covers. He cuddled into her side and rested his head on her chest. Felicity ran her fingers through his short cropped blonde hair. He looked more and more like Oliver every day. They had the same brow, nose and jawline. Though hidden behind a pair of glasses, the eyes that stared into hers were the same blue as Oliver’s. At eight, Nate’s features were still soft, but once puberty hit, there would be no denying he was Oliver’s biological son. Nate had inherited many of Oliver’s positive traits. Nate was kind and generous. He loved easily and fiercely. Unfortunately, Nate had inherited some of Oliver’s more self-destructive traits too. He felt things deeply. A thoughtless or cruel word spoken to Nate had the power to wound him for weeks, sometimes months. If he thought he’d disappointed someone, especially his parents, Nate would worry about it obsessively. If he failed at something, he took it out on himself.

“Are you and dads mad at me?” he asked quietly.

Felicity turned on her side. Nate’s head shifted to rest on her pillow. Felicity traced the side of his face with her finger and smiled softly at him, “We’re not mad at you.”

“But I broke my glasses and my tablet and Prue’s and three drinking glasses. I knocked over two chairs and da hurt his hand,” Nate listed his sins for his mom’s review. “I shouted at Prue and da.”

“Do you want to tell me why you did all those things?” she asked as she continued to trail her finger over his head and face.

Nate sighed heavily, “I hate being stupid. It’s not fair.”

“You’re not stupid,” she told her son. “I don’t like it when you call yourself that.” Nate referring to himself as stupid was a relatively new phenomenon. For the past four months, he’d routinely asked them why he was stupid.

“Only stupid kids get taken out to special classes during the day,” he said stubbornly. “Everyone makes fun of me.”

“Dyslexia doesn’t make you stupid. Your brain processes visual information differently than other people. I’m sorry you’re being teased for being taken out of class. Did something happen today at school?”

Nate blinked at her and shrugged. “Joey Saunders said that I’m stupid and blind and it would’ve been better if I’d never been born.” He clutched her hand and meekly asked, “Do you wish I’d never been born?”

Felicity gasped at the cruelty of the words spoken to her child and the still lingering guilt for her terrible thoughts about the twins when she suffered from postpartum depression. She cradled her son in her arms, “Not once have I ever wished you weren’t born. I love you so much. Your dads love you so much. We are so proud to have you for a son. Joey Saunders is a bully who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I’m never going to be smart like Bobby, Becca and Prue,” he said with fresh tears pooling in his eyes.

“You don’t need to be like anyone. You are you and we love you just the way you are,” she said with tears forming in her own eyes.

Nate averted his eyes, “Do you love me as much as Bobby, Becca and Prue?”

She tilted his chin until he was looking at her, “Yes, I love you as much as I love Bobby, Becca and Prue.”

“But I’m not smart like you,” he said.

“Your dads aren’t as smart as me, but I love them anyway. Right?” she asked with a smile.

“They’re your husbands. It’s okay if they’re not smart like you. I’m your son. I’m supposed to be smart like you. Everyone always says, the kids get their brains from Felicity. Why is my brain broken?” he asked earnestly.

“You know that your daddy wasn’t very good in school. He got terrible grades. Even though he wasn’t a good student, I still think he’s one of the smartest people I have ever known. Intelligence isn’t just about test scores. You are talented in so many things. You play the piano and trumpet beautifully. You draw better than anyone I know. You’re really good at sports. You’re funny. You’re kind. You’re compassionate. You love animals. You are so loved, Nathaniel. You are so much more than the scores on your tests.”

“I just want to be like everyone else,” Nate admitted.

“Don’t be like everyone else. That’s so boring,” Felicity grinned. “Look at this family, we’re not like anyone else. If your dads and I forced ourselves to be like everyone else, we wouldn’t be as happy as we are now. We wouldn’t have each other and we wouldn’t have any of you. Don’t worry about everyone else. All your dads and I want for you is for you to be happy and for you to try your best. If you try your best, your dads and I will never be disappointed in you – no matter what your test scores are.”

The bathroom door opened and Tommy and Oliver stepped out. Tommy’s hand was bandaged in white gauze. Nate waved at his dads, “Mommy says that I can sleep with you.”

“Sounds good to me,” Oliver said as he slid in next to his son. He held out his hand and Nate removed his glasses and handed them to his dad.

Nate rolled away from Oliver and leaned over Felicity. “Is your hand okay, da?”

Tommy held his bandaged hand out, “It’s going to be fine.”

“Does it hurt?” Nate asked with concern.

“Only a little,” Tommy tried to reassure him.

Nate carefully took his dad’s hand and placed a soft kiss in the center of it, “Does it feel better now?”

Tommy crushed his son in a hug, “It feels so much better. Thank you.”

Oliver turned off the lights. Nate snuggled back into Felicity’s arms.

“Can we all cuddle?” Nate asked into the darkness.

Oliver spooned behind Nate and draped his arm across him. Tommy spooned Felicity, draped his arm over her and then rested his hand against Nate’s back.

“Goodnight, daddy,” Nate said through a yawn.

“Goodnight, Nate,” Oliver responded.

“Goodnight, da,” Nate nuzzled Felicity.

Tommy rubbed Nate’s back, “Goodnight, little man.”

“Night, mommy,” Nate yawned loudly.

She kissed his forehead, “Goodnight, sweet boy. We love you.”

Felicity felt Nate relax in her arms. It didn’t take long for him to drift asleep.

“How much did you hear?” she asked softly.

“All of it,” Oliver answered. “We need to talk to his counselor about his fixation with being, smart.”

“I’ll make an appointment for us,” Tommy answered. “He was hurting himself – hitting himself. That’s new behavior.”

Oliver and Felicity reached for Tommy’s hand on Nate’s back. They held their son together as he slept.

“Is it wrong that I want to destroy the credit score of an eight-year-old – or maybe put him on the no-fly list?” Felicity whispered. She had real anger in her heart for Joey Saunders. She hated it when other children were cruel to hers. It would serve the little bully right if his family’s next vacation to Disney was ruined by his inability to fly.

“It’s a lot less wrong than wanting to put an arrow in his foot,” Oliver answered.

All three snorted at the same time. They turned their heads into their pillows to keep their son from waking from their laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. Hearing from you is my favorite part of the day.
> 
> Saturday we will be taking a break from the angst for some humor and maybe a little bit of smut. It's Felicity's first time after the birth of Bobby.
> 
> Prompt requests are encouraged.
> 
> You can also come say hi to me on tumblr. http://realityisoverrated-fic.tumblr.com


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